I Cannot Help but Speak – Xingxing’ Story

My name is Xinxing and I am from Hunan province in China. I am an only child and love my parents very much. My parents only completed their education to middle school level so they were very committed to seeing me succeed at school and then study at university. Like most Chinese families my whole extended family practiced Buddhist traditions and ancestor worship. My family were quite superstitious and although I didn’t understand much of what we practiced I just accepted these traditions and followed my parents example. I was also afraid that if I didn’t, that something bad might happen to my parents or me.

My grandmother was very devout and inclusive in her religious practice. She believed in Buddhism, Taoism, Chinese astrology and a variety of other traditional folk superstitions and rituals. I think if there had been any Muslims in her village she probably would have practiced Islam too. In the centre of her old house, there was an ancestor worship table. She required her eldest son or grandson to burn incense to worship the ancestors every morning and evening. On special days like Tomb-sweeping Day, she would burn a lot of fake money, and give food as offerings to the dead. This was to ensure that any deceased family members would have a good life in the after world. One time she said that her deceased husband, my grandpa had come to her in a dream, telling her that he was sick, when she woke up, she burnt some fake money to help him.

This family background plus an education system that promoted atheism and Darwinism meant that I had no real concept of, or interest in Christianity. It was not until I went to university that I even met a Christian.

One of my best friends became a Christian and so invited me to come to church with her. I went once and found it quite boring, so I didn’t continue.

Around the same time I met a few international students at my university. They were assisting students with conversational English. I didn’t really know what to talk to them about so I talked about my friend who was a Christian. They got so excited that I wanted to talk about Christianity. Over a period of months I became good friends with a few of the American female students. Even when it was time for them to leave to go back to the USA they passed on my details to their friends who were replacing them. Each of these people helped me understand a little bit more about what Christianity was all about.

I remember them talking to me about love from 1 Corinthians and I wanted to know more. I started to slowly accept Christianity on an emotional level.

One day when I was having lunch with my friend Lorraine from the USA she asked me whether I would like to become a Christian. I said ‘yes’ but to be honest I still didn’t really understand that much. I tried hard to get close to Jesus but I struggled. One of my friends, who was not a Christian, told me that she thought that I was being brainwashed. She and her boyfriend were very smart and I really respected their intelligence. I continued to try and read the Bible but I wandered away from Christianity.

My friend Lorraine had left to go home to the USA but her friend Miranda contacted me and began to chat with me more about Christianity. I was introduced to a book called ‘Evidence that Demands a Verdict’ by Josh McDowell.

I became obsessed with this book. It was so compelling. I had so many questions and this book gave me historically accurate, logical and intelligent answers. I had been taught that Christianity was not for intellectuals but this book helped me see things very differently.

Reading this book was a turning point in my journey as a Christian. It changed the way that I read the Bible. I started attending a house church near my university. I met a fellow student who was originally from Thailand. She had such a strong relationship with God and spoke fluent Chinese. She became my mentor and friend and my relationship with God grew stronger and stronger.

I graduated from university in 2008 and that same year I was water baptised. When I retuned home, six months after I had become a Christian, I shared with my mother about my relationship with God. She made the decision to become a Christian too and began attending the local three self-church. My dad was not happy about my mothers’ decision and often quarrelled with her about it, but she went to church anyway. Interestingly, even though my dad has not yet become a Christian he has stopped participating in ancestor worship and no longer visits the temple.

In 2009 I moved to Shenzhen for a job opportunity. Because Shenzhen is a special economic zone I was able to attend a church with foreigners. I joined a vibrant and active international church and became very involved. I participated in small groups, women’s ministry and volunteered as a language translator for three years for the Promised Land Special Education Ltd., an American-founded charity associated with the church. Its mission is to provide special education to developmentally disabled children throughout China.

I loved living in Shenzhen very much but I also knew that God was calling me to live and study overseas. I had always thought that I would go to the USA but in 2015 I had the opportunity to attend Bible College in Australia. I had never even considered Australia and was not that interested but the more I prayed about it, the more I sensed that it was where God wanted me to be.

I moved to Australia in July 2015. I am now studying dance, leadership and Bible at C3 College, Oxford Falls. I continue to pray for my family to come to know Jesus.

Last year I began writing my grandmother’s name on a prayer card at church. She is almost 90 years old and had some health problems.

My mother told her that my friends, my church and I were praying for her. My mother kept telling her that she should also pray to God and encouraged her to become a Christian. She continued to say ‘No’ but when she experienced healing she made the decision to give her life to Jesus. Since I became a Christian my mum, aunty, uncle, grandpa, grandma and best friend Tanya have all become Christians. I am so excited about what God has done in my life that I can’t help but share the good news about Jesus with others.

Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.
Acts 16:31