60 years of marriage. What’s the secret?
“In all the world there is no heart for me like yours,
No love for you like mine.”
Maya Angelou
On 1 January 2016 my husband’s parents John and Norma Pesavento will celebrate 61 years of marriage. And for all of those 61 years they have not only lived together but also worked together.
Inspired by Jo Bouris from ‘Love is not a Fairy-tale’ I asked them for a few tips on how they navigated the challenges of running a business, caring for a family and staying connected and in love for more than 60 years.
60 years of marriage is amazing what’s the secret?
Norma: Early on we realised what our respective strengths are and we worked to our strengths. I always say John loads the bullet and I pull the trigger. He has great ideas and vision and I’m the one who makes it happen. We went into business together, a small grocery store, after only two weeks of marriage. We found a property in Wollongong while we were here on our honeymoon and came back within a few months and set up shop. We worked in that business and then relocated and expanded it over the next 50 years. We loved what we did and we loved doing it together.
Was there ever a time when you were dissatisfied in your marriage; considered walking away?
Norma: Absolutely not, never. We were too busy to ever get bored.
John: That never even occurred to me. I never considered that there could be a better option. We both knew that we were in this together, for life. There was no point in considering any alternative.
How did/do you keep the ‘spark’ in your relationship?
Norma: Good sex plus we have shared interests and hobbies. We play golf and always entertained a lot.
John: Yes, sex is important. We also had common goals and we loved the life that we were building.
What about roles and responsibilities?
Norma: I have never been subservient to John; we are equal partners in everything.
John: We discussed every decision we made and wouldn’t go ahead until we both agreed. We always stuck with our decisions and backed each other.
What about in the home?
Norma: I was in charge of the inside of the home; John took care of the outside. I made all of the children’s clothes, sewing, knitting, and mending and cooked all the meals. John was responsible for the house and garden and any maintenance.
John: That’s right and we were both very involved with our children and their activities. We also spent quite a bit of time involved with community service projects. We have always had a great partnership.
What do you love most about the other person?
John: She’s always enthusiastic, kind hearted and a great friend to many. If I had the chance to marry her again I would!
Norma: Even when I’m angry he can always make me laugh. He’s patient and rarely complains.
