Johanna’s Story

Dear Mum

When I was small you were my everything.

No other voice or touch could soothe or inspire like yours.

No meal tasted as good as what you prepared, no other home was so lovely.

You were my mum and because of that I walked tall into the world and always had a safe harbor when the world was unkind.

Then I was not so small and my image of you wobbled.

Learning to stand on my own two feet I questioned and asked and I know that some days I stretched the love of your huge heart to it’s full capacity.

I stretched and I stretched, I pushed and I pulled but you held firm.

The day came when I held my first child and I looked into her eyes and then over and into yours and my heart fell in love with you so deeply all over again.

As a child I learned all those lessons written in the poem “When you thought I wasn’t looking.”

And as a woman, that did not stop.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw the way you picked yourself and the pieces of your life up off the floor, determined that you would build something beautiful again. And I learnt then that down, is not out.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you cultivate deep friendships with women who have felt like Aunts to me and I knew the power of women walking together.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I watched you choose boundaries that protected yourself, rather than always put yourself last and I learnt that you can’t give to others if you are an empty well.

When You thought I wasn’t looking I watched you choose to age with dignity and I learnt that beauty comes in many shapes and ages and is brightest when lit from within.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I watched you sing lullabies to my child and I learnt that life is fast and childhood doesn’t last forever and is to be cherished.

I am no longer small and no longer young, but Mum, I am still watching you and still learning from you everyday.

And still, no other meal tastes so good as those you make.

Thank you Mum, for then and for now. I love you.