Finding My Mother – Sara’s Story
I have known that I am adopted for as long as I can remember. My parents encouraged me to find my birth parents but it never really interested me, although I did think about my birth mother on my birthday and Mother’s day. I am so thankful that she chose life for me and I told my friends and family
‘if I ever do meet her I want to say thank you for my life.’
In 2016 I was home for Christmas and mentioned to my mom that I had decided to reach out to the adoption agency and see if they could find my birth mother. That month I filled out the paper work and paid the application fee to begin the process. From December to February I heard nothing. Then, one day in early March I was sitting at my desk when I received a phone call from the adoption agency. ‘We have located your birth mother’ was all I heard. I was in such shock that I almost fell out of my chair. The agency representative then informed me that they were waiting for my birth mom to complete some paperwork to verify her identity and then they could proceed to the next step. A week later the agency called and gave me my mom’s name and phone number. I could hardly believe it.
I called the number but there was no answer. I left a message, and then I waited. Every day I woke up expecting a text or a phone call from my birth mom. Every day I heard nothing. My best friend and my mom both told me to be patient. They reminded me that this journey was hard for my birth mom, perhaps she hadn’t even told anyone about me yet? My friends prayed with me. My Ladies group and Facebook family lifted me up. We were all waiting.
It was the end of March and I was returning home from the gym when I had a sense that I should check my mailbox. Inside the mailbox was a large envelope from the adoption agency. It contained everything that I had been asking and praying for, my family history, adoption information, my entire personal file. I sat down and immediately began reading. Then I came across these words from my birth mother.
“I will pray to God that some of my siblings and living aunts have information that can be recreated so my daughter can have the information that she wants. I will be 58 in July 2017 and have been overloaded with so many challenges and cannot remember everything but I will pray for restoration to my mind because I am a woman of faith and a servant of God. I know that because we have the Favor of God in our lives, things will come together. I know that she is blessed and also has the God’s Favor, because she was actually a miracle and chosen by God, her seed is blessed. My prayer is that God will open her heart to forgive both her parents. At the time we thought we were doing the right thing”.
I broke down and cried a lifetime of tears. As I scanned through the information I also realized that I had used the incorrect number the first time I called my birth mother. She hadn’t been ignoring me. That evening I called her and we talked for four hours. I discovered that my life was indeed a miracle.
My mother had gone to Planned Parenthood when she found out that she was pregnant. They were the ones who told her about the adoption agency! They told her she had a choice and she chose life, my life!
The most amazing thing is that my birth mother is a woman of God. I couldn’t believe it. I began to see God’s hand at work in my life and it was all coming full circle in this moment. My birth mother, whom I now refer to as “Mom/Mama” or when talking to my friends “Vegas Mom/Mama”, flew me out to Las Vegas a few days later. We clicked instantly, it was as if she knew me all along, we had such an immediate bond. I stayed in Vegas for a few days with my mom before we headed to Arizona so that she could meet my Mom and Dad. I prayed for my parents to receive her with an open heart, and they did. The whole experience bore the unmistakable fingerprints of God. My Vegas Mama has a light that shines so bright inside of her, she is so full of love.
In meeting her I have had a glimpse of the woman I know that I am supposed to be.
I had no idea how powerful meeting my mama would be. Until that moment, I don’t think I realized how much not knowing where I came from had affected me. I realized after meeting my mama that the emptiness in my heart that I had filled so many times with bad relationships and empty promises was now full and overflowing. I felt complete and that’s something that no one can take from me.
In connecting with my birth mother I also realized that God was showing me that it was time for me to walk fully into the call that he has placed on my life. For so long I had been trying to stay under the radar. I did not want all the responsibility and accountability that I knew God was entrusting me with.
‘Really God, You see something in me, even though I have sinned against you countless times? You still love me enough to grant me the desires of my heart? You love me enough to use my story to show how your love is real and tangible? WOW!’
This is my story and it’s still being written. I know that God has something for my mama and I to do together. Our story is proof of the grace, love and mercy of God. It is a modern day miracle, something that I will never take for granted and the reason why I will honor and praise God every day of my life.